yancybecket asked: Tony gets Steve an official Captain America vine. Steve uses it to promote local art festivals and to put focus on struggling mom and pop businesses and Sam is in the background like "[puts head in hands] This guy is a literal saint. I have sex on a regular basis with a Literal Saint."
I bet you they start out like. Really professional like Steve’s using his Captain America voice while someone else holds his phone and he gives some dorky line while standing next to the shopfront sign
and then in a few weeks it’s just Steve holding his phone over his head swinging it around going “I’m at [——] right now an—” and then a little kid comes up behind him and goes AAAAAA and Steve starts going AAAAAAAAA and they’re both just screaming into the camera until the six seconds are up because they’re LOSERS and Sam physically can’t.
NOT THAT SAM’S VINE IS ANY BETTER oh my god once he’s officially on the Avengers and the Falcon becomes a house hold name; all the bird jokes. SEVERAL instances of him pulling up a youtube phone cam vid of him doing something cool, and dubbing it over with “Y’ALL GON’ MAKE ME RELEASE THE FALCOONNNNN”
Tony and Sam decide it’d be fun to see what cute shit Cap says if you sneak up on him and go ‘Boo’. It backfires immediately because Steve is so comfortable around them and his reaction is to swear viciously and threaten them with bodily harm. Which is still hilarious! Just not something he’d want up on the internet. Sam promises he’ll delete it but Tony keeps it as blackmail (that he has no intention of ever using; he knows Cap’s audience is all ages and he may act like that doesn’t matter to him, but he has a huge fucking soft spot for Cap and his stinking All American morals and he knows it would actually upset him so no, its just for showing to the Avengers for shits and giggles)
Sam’s vines start out as “haha lookit this nest” and it’s him sitting in a little blanket pillow fort to “YO CHECK IT” and he has an actual place set up on Tony’s tower right there on the edge in the middle of the “A” and at the last second somewhere from the background is Clint shouting, “HEY”
Steve shouting DO IT FOR THE VINE at Bucky before Bucky gets what it means
Bucky doesn’t have a vine but he’s in Sam’s most famous one. Bucky is sitting on the couch then offscreen Sam yells “GET DOWN MR. PRESIDENT!” and Bucky looks around wildly but before he can figure out what’s going on, all the Avengers dogpile on him.
Bucky tries to avoid social media in general but he’s like a fucking easter egg on everyone elses’ accounts. The fans love it. He’s often in the background of Steve’s vids or getting trolled in Tony and Sam’s, but he rarely ends up saying anything. SO WHEN HE DOES, that shit is extra popular.
Finally one day Sam catches Bucky singing to himself as he shaves. Bucky catches sight of him right before the Vine ends and spends the next hour chasing him around trying to steal the phone back and destroy it.
Driver, lower my tuition please.
I don’t have enough money for my basic needs.
Working 40+ hours just to pay my rent
Now I don’t even have a single cent
Tuition is high, I gotta pay for books
Oh i’m so broke and I don’t wanna look
I popped open my wallet, no funds to count
my credit declined and my check just bounced
Oh, there daddy, daddy betta bring that TAP
Oh, baby, baby where my FASFA at?
Gon’ take me 45 years to pay off all dis debt
and I aineem finished college yet
Took my money… I just want to get a decent credit score
Took my money .. I can’t pay this interest anymore
This debt I got is gonna kill me
Gonna kill me
additionally, I CANNOT GET OVER Steve’s fucking Sadness Errands that he keeps running around DC, like, his schedule literally goes
6 AM: jogging
7:15: unburden soul to total stranger, lacking better options
3 PM: visit own museum exhibit to stare at the Dead Best Friend Wall
4:30: attempt meaningful human connection with sole surviving contemporary; fail due to Alzheimer’s
6 PM: dinner for one
7 PM: contemplate own loneliness, probably
Anonymous asked: Isn't it kind of interesting how when a mass killer is a white male the very first thing the media does is discourage speculation and emphasize that he wasn't representative of any larger group?
Fuck our racist and cowardly media.
Actually, what they usually do is speculate like hell about how he’s likely mentally ill because if you can’t blame race, you might as well blame disability.
Emphasis mine. White people have mental illnesses that cause them to do bad things; POC do bad things because they’re bad.